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On Dealing With The Insecure Wives Club

August 11, 2011

“You didn’t say that she was so pretty!”

I’ve never encountered such a seemingly innocuous statement that carries such an explosive death sentence with it as the one above. My many encounters with it have almost all ended up exceedingly unpleasant and have cost me the ability to spend time with more than one of my male friends and coworkers. For some reason, once I enter into their worlds as a real person and not just a figment from work that gets mentioned on occasion, the warm welcome becomes too often hostile.

Because apparently, being attractive and friends with your husband automatically means I should be classified as a “home wrecking bitch.” Well, at least according to several of the wives I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with over the years.

I know many of you are wondering how I possibly could be offended at this declaration when I admitted to having crossed into other relationships in a previous post. The fact is, anything I have done or been propositioned to do in the past never guarantees any similar actions of that sort in the future. I highly resent that I and my other unmarried female counterparts at work are being ferociously judged by women who have not even said two words to us. And for what? Are you so insecure in your relationship that you have to take it out on us?

Let me give a hint to you ladies out there who think forbidding your husbands from associating with a female friend outside of work is going to keep him with you: it won’t. Just because you think your husband is the most amazingly wonderful man in the world doesn’t mean that any of the rest of us do. Trust me, if you had to work with him every day, you would likely want to strangle him also. If you think that keeping him away from temptation will help keep him faithful, it won’t. Cheaters will find and make opportunities to cheat. The best thing that you can do to maintain your relationship is to work with your husband to maintain open lines of communication and work together to address the bumps in the road that will happen. It alienates him for you to alienate someone he considers a friend. If you wouldn’t want him telling you who to be friends with, don’t expect that you should have the right to do so to him.

As for me, I’m not going to change as a person because you feel threatened. I’m going to be nice and polite, I’m going to continue to act the same way around your husband outside of work as I do inside of it and I’m going to continue to roll my eyes at you for behaving like an insecure child. If you ever decide you want to ever actually get to know the person behind the name, I’m not difficult to find. Who knows, we might actually get along.

Until Next Time,

One Comment
  1. I never thought of it that way, well put!

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